Change is coming

So I feel like change is coming... I'm not sure the specifics of it, but I just get a sense. Maybe its just a change in my perspective, maybe its a change in ministry, maybe its a change in location. I'm not really sure, but change is definately in the air. We have an evangelist at our church this week and I really enjoyed service on sunday morning. So much so that I suggested we go back for evening service (I know its shocking to me too). And we are going to go again tonight. ( I know its crazy) Anyway the services were really good, you could really feel God's presence (its been a while since I could actually say that about a service). Any way the first interesitng thing is that the speaker prophesied over Kevin that he and pastor would be parting ways. And that God just had him doing youth ministry as a starting ground. Then right after that they prophesied over pastor that a time was coming that he would be called on to another ministry and another place (this is good news on several levels cause I really can't handle his preaching). Anyway I was talking to Jay about it later and was kinda joking about what if pastor left and then Kevin took his place as senior pastor. I was like or you could be the new senior pastor. Jay was like no... if I did anything pastoral I would want to stick with youth. So I was like well maybe Kevin will be senior pastor and you could be the youth pastor. He was like we will see... well in Jay speak that usually means that a possibility but I'm not going to really talk about it and get my hopes up. So anyway I've just been praying and think about stuff.... I don't know what sit will look like, but i just keep picturing us doing ministry together... i see us getting more involved at church and see where God takes us. I don't want to play guessing games with God about what the future holds, but i just want to be avaliable to Him and do what he wants us to do. I've had too many maybe God wants us to do this moments lately, to try to guess what God has up His sleeve for us. but i know He is going to use us and at the very least we are going to get more involved at church. So those are my thoughts for the day... I'm actually really excited to go to service tonight.

Its late and I'm still awake

So ask me why I'm still awake at 11pm when both of my kids are sound asleep and my hubby is going to bed in a minute. Thats because H was really up all night last night (as in she would fall asleep adn then wake up 15 minutes later crying) - so I was up basically all night. The only sleep I got was when Jay got up at 6:15am until 8am when he was getting ready to leave for work. So since my sister in law was here today I decided to take a nap since I was exausted... I went to sleep at 1:30 after finally getting H down for a nap. Next thing I know the clock in our bedroom says 5:05 and I am woke up by L coming in and telling me she wants to watch a movie. So yeah... I really slept for 3 1/2 hours this afternoon. Great for my tiredness... not so good for my being able to sleep tonight. So here I sit on the computer trying to get really tired so I can actually fall asleep tonight. (I discovered after H was about 2 months old and the extreme exhaustion wore off that if I take a nap in the afternoon I can't get to sleep the next night, so we will see how tonight goes.) and hopefully H will actually sleep tonight. She threw up while nursing tonight (not sure why she only throws up at night) but she doesn't have a fever anymore, so maybe she will just be so tired from last night that she will sleep all night. I know I need the sleep. So does J since H slept in our room in her swing last night since she was so sick. So he heard her every time I got up with her. Anyway I'm rambling... but I think its working cause I'm getting really tired. Good night

Letter to my dad

(My dad called me tonight and after I got off the phone with him I felt that there were a few things that I need to reiterate to him in a letter, just because its easier I decided to type it out on here and then send it to him with a recent picture of my kids.)


Hey Dad,
It was really good to hear from you tonight. I have missed hearing from you. I wanted to tell you that it really ment a lot to me to hear you still talking about God. I have been worried about you and have been praying that you hadn't turned your back on Him after all of the things you have been through. But I'm excited to hear that you are still seeking him and looking for ways to minister to others through this all. I also wanted to tell you that even though you feel like a failure as a dad and grandpa that isn't true. To me having a dad who loves the Lord and prays for his kids is a much bigger asset to me and my kids than having a dad who had all the money in the world. I really do still love you and want you to be involved in my kids lives. I want them to know that their Grandpa loves them and prays for them. To me that is more important than anything money can buy. So please know that you aren't a failure. Regardless of what has gone on in the past or what mistakes you have made. You are my dad and I still love you. All I ask of you is that you keep serving God and keep me, my husband and my kids in your prayers. Its reassuring to know that someone else is going to the thrown room interceeding on your behalf. God is a good God and he always has and always will provide for our needs. I really don't worry much about our finances. God always provides for us and we always have enough money for the things we need.
Anyway just wanted to let you know how much it meant to me to hear from you last night. I will continue to pray for you and I will be praying that things would work out for you to go to Texas and work under M.S. if that is Gods will. I also do think it is important for you to go through inpatient counseling for you addiction. I know its hard to understand people who are addicted unless you have been in their shoes, but I really think its best for you to start out of a completely fresh foot, meaning to kick the drugs before starting over in Texas. Jay and I both are pretty sure that if you went through an inpatient rehab program they should have programs for you to find jobs and get reoriented into society after the treatment. I just don't want to see you destroy yourself. You have a lot to live for. You have two kids and two grandkids who love you and want the best for you.

Thanks again for calling me.

Love ya,
Lori