"Use what we have and then no more"

Gos showed me something at church last night that I didn't really want to hear... but it makes a ton of sense now that I processed it all. The evangelist was talking about how he had 7 heart attacks at once and because of this he qualified for full disability payments from the government. He said that he didn't accept these payments because with a healing ministry he didn't feel right receiving disablity from the gov't when he was being used to heal others..... then later in the evening they were praying for Jay and one of the things they prayed for him was breaking the financial strong hold on our family. (Which is awesome... cause we make a pretty good salary here, but for some reason we never have enough money to pay our bills). Well anyway later Jay and I were talking about church and I started thinking about getting government aid. (our kids are on state medicade and we get WIC) I felt like God was asking me if we are getting this aid because we need it or do we need it because we are getting it. At first it didn't make sense, but after I prayed about it I realized that by being on medicade and WIC we are keeping a welfare spirit over our house (not trying to sound strange or super hyper spiritual) but God showed me that by depending on the aid from the government we are basically keeping God from blessing us financially. I can see now how just walking into the DHS office to get our WIC checks is allowing this welfare mentality to have a place in our lives. Sorry if my ramblings don't make sense... it makes sense to me, but sometimes is hard to convey on the internet. Anyway I was praying about what we should do and I felt like God was saying to use what we have and then no more. So we are going to use the WIC checks that we have right now (I just got them Tuesday) and keep the kids on Medicade until it expires (in April) but we aren't going to get any more WIC checks after we use these up and I will get the kids lined up to be on our insurance before April. Right now we can't afford the extra $200 it will cost each month to put them on our insurance, but I'm trusting God that it will work out and excited to experience our financial break through.

So how did they really hold it all together???

So this is my deep thought for the day... I was talking to Anna the other day about our parents and we were commenting on how it seems like our parents are going off the deep end and how were they able to raise us and seem normal all our growing up years. I have come to some interesting observations (with the help of my hubby).... First of all a little back ground. You already know about my dad from earlier blog posts, my mom divorced my dad and started dating a guy she met on the internet from England (for her credit though she is no longer dating the england guy, and is actually hanging out with someone her own age that she actually met through some friends - so even though Jay would debate me on this one, she is heading towards normalcy) :) Then there is the most recent development with Robs dad, I won't go into details but lets just say he's going awal like my dad. Then there are Anna's parents who just built themselves a huge new house (the biggest one in the town they live in) which seems a little more than obsessive for what they actually need. Jay's parents actually went through their own psycho problems when Jay was younger and are actually about as normal as they can be. (you have to know them to appreciate the comment) Any way I could go on but I just am amazed that all these people were able to hold themselves together long enough to raise us. How did we turn out ok seeing how our parents actually turned out now. Well I have a few theories. The first one I think is kind of funny... If you look at most of us with messed up parents we have either gone into the ministry or into counseling professions. Maybe deep down inside we realized our parents were messed up and wanted to enter into these helping professions to figure them out and help others not become like them (and to help ourselves not become like them). My other theory is that they were normal while they raised us (again the disclaimer of as normal as they could be) and then once their kids were gone they didn't know what to do with themselves and then went off the deep end. This theory seems to hold true because of the time frame of our (mine, Anna's and Rob's) parents situations. I know for a fact that my mom held the family together until us kids were out of the house... then she felt like it was her time.... So the big question is how do we as counselors and people in ministry prevent this in our own lives and in the lives of those we come in contact with. I think a big thing is to be involved with something other than your kids. Keep your interests and don't loose youself in raising them. Also stay friends with your spouse and make sure you have common interests. Well that is enough rambling for now (sorry if you get lost in my comments). any way I'd love to hear other theories on this from anyone who is reading this.