Wake up call

So I have had an insane week this week.  We had a garage sale this weekend and I felt like I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week!  I was working in the garage getting everything set up, priced and organized.  Not to mention dealing with 4 crazy kids (I did let them have a break from school this week so I could focus more time on the garage sale set up).  Each night this week I feel into bed with not one more ounce of energy to left to give.  I was much shorter with my kids than normal.  I just wanted to die at the end of the day, not deal with anything or anyone else.  My body hurts, my brain hurts.. basically I was fried and just really stressed.  My husband made a comment a few times that my week this week is what his normal week looks like.  I brushed it off the first time he said it, like yeah right you just deal with clients all week.  But for some reason the second time he said it, it was like a wake up call to me (don't you love it when the Holy Spirit makes things clear to you in a way what you are like wow I've never seen it like that before).. anyway.  So when he was saying tonight that my week this week is like his normal week, it was like I finally saw his schedule through his eyes and felt horrible.  He works very hard all week.  I work hard at home, but my normal weeks are nothing like his normal week.  At worst I am stressed about our finances or our kids.  But he is with clients all day long dealing with all their crap and just the general stress of his job.  When he gets home, he just wants to do nothing.  I never understood that... until this week.  When I finally got the kids in bed, I simply wanted to do nothing.  I was too tired to even care about ANYTHING!  Not sure why I never saw how crazy his schedule is and how stressed he is.  I mean I know how many hours he works and how long his days are, because I know how long he is away from the kids and I.  But I guess what I never saw was how stressful his long hours were for him.  How hard he works and then wants to do nothing at the end of the day.  I don't even think he resents me for having the easier job (I am very blessed to be able to stay at home with our girls and homeschool them.) We have 4 great daughters and being with them all day is a true blessing.  They are kids though and being with them 24 hours a day can get stressful.  Sometimes I just want a break or another adult to help me with them.  I look to my husband for help and relief from the kids or the dog.  But I just realized how crazy that probably seems to him.  Compared to the week I had this last week and how hard I worked all week, my normal days are pretty easy.  I get up get enjoy some breakfast and coffee while the kids eat.  We start school sometime before 9 and it really only takes us a couple of hours to get done.  The kids have a snack and watch tv and I enjoy a second cup of coffee and relax on the computer for a bit.  Then i fix some lunch and clean up dishes from the morning.  I spend some time cleaning up from the day or doing laundry, but soon its time for the youngest 2 to take a nap so I have some more quiet time / down time before they get up.  Once the youngest two are up from their naps, they have snack time again and watch more tv.  I normally get dinner started / more laundry or clean up, but then after dinner once they are in bed I have even more down time.  Most of the time my husband is gone at work during all of that (and even longer some days).  When he gets home his day isn't even done, he still has to take notes on all his sessions and do a ton of paper work.  Plus his crazy wife normally has some task that I need help with or want him to help with something with the kids.  Not sure why that never seemed crazy to me until tonight.  Yes he is part of our family and I want him to be involved with our kids, but I am crazy to expect him to help with my with responsibilities when he gets home.  I think if he would have asked me to help him with something at the end of the day this week I would have snapped at him.  I was so tired and stressed getting the garage sale stuff ready.  Any way all that rambling is to basically say I finally saw how hard / long my husband works to provide for our family.  His just is insane and stressful.  But he does it for us.  He works hard so I can be at home with our girls.  That is something very important to both of us.  But I need to put a lot more effort into working to help his life be easier, not trying to get him to help me make my life easier.  I know he wants me to be home with the kids.  So its not that he is upset at all that I have the easier job.  I just think he gets upset that I don't realize that I have the easier job.  I finally understand that I truly do have the easier job / schedule.  I know I should have realized this earlier, but better late than never.  I am very thankful that the Holy Spirit finally made this very clear to me (sometimes I have a pretty thick head), and pray that I can remember this week I had and try to be more understanding / helpful to my husband.  I love him a lot and fear that I take him for granted way to often. 

Back again!!

Ok.. so I totally dropped of the blog radar (huge suprise for those who actually know me.) I'm much more of a researcher and "lurker" than a blogger, but I am determined to give this whole blog thing another go. My kids started summer vacation this week, and I want to be better about documenting our days with pictures, so my head automatically went to blogging. Maybe this time will be the time I actually stick with it. :) Only time will tell. Right now I'm shooting for blogging through the summer and we will see if I can keep it up beyond that.

So today I took the girls to the library and took some fun pictures of them outside before we headed home for dinner.

Awesome Place to Buy Books

So we are starting to homeschool this year and have been using the Five in a Row Curriculum. I came across an awesome site to add to your book collection and even better is that they have free shipping the month of August. HomeSchool Library Builder has great selections and very great prices. They sell used and new books. What are you waiting for check them out and tell them I sent you. :)

Menu Plan

I'm trying to get more organized with meals and decided to make up a menu plan for the week. I have a ton of fresh produce to use up and I want to keep track of it better. I am also going to try to use up what we have on hand for meals as much as possible the next several weeks, because we had an unexpected car expense yesterday that I'd like to try to pay for out of our food budget (we have savings I just don't want to touch it if I don't have to). What better place to put my menu than on my blog so I don't risk loosing my paper that I write it on.

Thursday: Pizzets and corn on the cob.

Friday: BBQ chicken at my mom's (I'm bringing broccoli salad)

Saturday: Lunch - Picnic for hubby's work
Dinner - Tacos (tomatoes from farmers market & lettuce from garden) with peas

Sunday: Lunch - Sandwiches and/ or soup
Dinner - Chicken Stirfry (snow peas from garden, chicken cooked on thursday, green pepper, onion and tomato from farmers market) with rice

Monday: Burritos (left over taco meat, tomatoes) with fried zucchini

Tuesday: spaghetti with garlic bread

Wednesday: Grilled Pork Chops, crash hot potatoes, peas

Thursday: left over burritos

Friday: dinner at mom's

Living Intentionally

So I have just spent the last hour reading the blog of an old acquaintance from high school and was challenged on many levels. First of all I was plesantly suprised to discover that she and I have a lot in common. She seems to be very passionate about bargins and finances. She is also a christian. But there were a few other things I noticed. She seems to live her life with passion and intentionally. She got married last summer and from what she has written on her blog she seems very happily married (which is exciting to see someone else from school make wise choices in the marriage department - but that is another post for another time). Any way "A" has spent her first year of married traveling all over the country with her new hubby and just having a great time. I look back at my first year of marriage and remember spending it in grad school and then with a new born before the year was up. Not quite the exciting cross country adventures that "A" has had. But before I get stuck comparing myself with others, I realize its not her cross country journey that I am envying, but the intentionality with which she lives her life. I have gotten stuck in a rut. I no longer am taking life by the horns and going forward, I'm just doing what needs to get done for the day or week. Now no matter what I do, my life won't resemble "A's" life. I have three kids and can't just up and travel all over, but I can live with purpose. I can be intentional with what I do and my attitude. I think I need to get back to setting goals and more detailed to do lists. I need to focus on getting back (or maybe starting for the first time) to living intentionally. I also want to focus on my hubby. We have three beautiful girls, but he tends to get lost in the daily shuffle. I want to be more intentional about spending quality time with him and showing him my love in tangable ways. Well thats enough rambling for now, its late and I'm really tired.

I now officially drive a van

So we traded in my baby for this 2007 Ford Freestyle Van tonight. Pretty sure its time we joined the ranks of the minivan drivers since we have three kids.

Moving in fast forward

Its funny how sometimes you can feel like life is moving in fast forward even though nothing is really changing outwardly. This is the way Jay and I feel right now. We have been praying about being in full time ministry for quite a while, and it has seemed like doors were opening. Nothing has really happened though. It just finally feels like its our season. Like God is going to be opening the doors for us to step into the next season of our life. I have been so proud of Jay lately. He has really come out of his shell lately. He has been working on being more social and having conversations with people, and has had three major situations where he has really put his skills to the test the last couple of days. He has also gotten better about processing through things with me rather than his normal canned responses of "we'll see". I feel like I'm finally able to tell him what has been lacking for me in our relationship (nothing bad, just really needing him to open up to me and really talk things through) and that has in turn really helped him in ministry too. I don't know... this probably doesn't make sense, but i just wanted to get it all down while it was in my mind. I just feel like God is getting ready to do something big with us. Either here or somewhere else. I feel like the signs are pointing to here, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Either way what God is calling us and equipping us to do is very much bigger than us, which is exciting because that means it has to be a God thing.
Also wanted to quickly post that I feel like God was really clarifying Jay's vision for me this morning. I can see how his vision will really easily transition him from youth pastor to student ministries / education director at a church. THis also clarifies the whole him being a principle dream he had. I can really see us starting a christian school at our church in the next five years. I'm excited to see what happens. Well this is just random... but I wanted to get my thoughts down.