I was doing my devotions tonight and really started thinking about the following. "God often reveales His purpose for our lives through the dreams He puts in our hearts". So my question to ponder is "what dreams has God given me for my life?" Its really easy to forget about my dreams with two little kids to take care of and bills to be paid. I need to start to dream again. I need to look deep within and see what dreams God is laying on my heart for my life, my marriage and my family.
One dream I have is to be selfless. I know it seems strange, especially coming from me who is a very selfish person naturally. But I want to not be worried about myself. I don't want to worry about our finances (easier said then done). I want to put others first. I want to give the last few dollars we have to our name, knowing that God will provide. But its so hard. I want to get to the point where money isn't an issue with me. I want to know that our needs are met and know that we have extra to give to others. I want to not regret giving things to other (not worrying what bills could have been paid with that extra $50). I always thought that once we started making more money that I would have an easier time not worrying about money but it seems that even though Jay got a significant raise a few months ago, things have been tighter and more stressful (budget wise) then they were before the raise. Maybe it has NOTHING to do with the amount of money we make, but more the attitude we have about our money. The big question is *will we let our money control us, or will we let God control our money". That is the difficult question. The funny reality is that in that question there isn't the option of will we control our money. We either let God control the money or the money will control us. Now thats some food for thought.
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ooh. Deep for 10:30 at night, girlfriend. I know what you mean about money, God's been schooling us on that for a long time.
But it really touched me, what you said about what dreams we have in our hearts. It's funny cause they talked aobut that at MOPs this morning. I haven't dreamt in a long time... I decided today that I need to. It's so easy, when you have little kids, to get caught up in the day to day struggle, monotony of mommyhood. It's hard to remember that you are a person with dreams and goals and purpose. thanks for helping put that back in perspective.
By the way - I hope you are having a great time with your mom, but I miss you! :)
You know, last year I took the Crown Financial Bible study and it really helped me to put things into perspective. One thing I realized, was that I was treating my tithe as another bill, writing my cheque out just before church. Now I give my tithe to the Lord right off the top, as soon as I receive my pay stub. It all belongs to Him. It was all in my attitude.
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